7 Questions for Parents and Educators: Marks or Learning?

By Sylvia Langford · 9 min read

When supporting the education of our children and students, one question keeps coming back:

Are we paying more attention to marks or to what they are actually learning?

We do not necessarily have to choose between the two.

Marks can provide useful information about academic performance, but they represent only one part of the process.

Behind a result are also understanding, practice, mistakes, the strategies used, effort and the ability to apply what has been learnt.

These seven questions can help parents and educators look beyond the mark and place learning at the centre.

1. Why Do Some Parents End Up Doing Their Children's Homework?

It usually starts with good intentions.

We want to help because our child is tired, because the homework is difficult, because we are short on time or because we want to prevent them from submitting incomplete work and receiving a poor mark.

But there is a real difference between helping a child learn and doing the work for them.

We can explain an instruction, ask questions, break a task into smaller steps or help them find information.

What we should try to avoid is replacing the child's own participation.

An imperfect piece of work completed by the student can provide useful information about what they understand and what they still need to learn.

If an adult completes a significant part of the work, the final result may look better, but it becomes harder to know what the child can actually do on their own.

A useful question is:

"Am I helping my child understand how to do this, or am I helping them produce a better-looking result?"

Sometimes those two things line up.

Sometimes they do not.

2. What Does a Good Mark Really Mean?

A good mark tells us that a student met particular criteria in a particular assessment.

That may reflect knowledge, skills and preparation, but a mark on its own does not tell us the whole story.

Two students can receive the same mark after very different learning processes.

One may have built a deep understanding of the content. The other may have memorised enough information to answer a particular assessment successfully.

In the same way, a lower mark does not necessarily mean that a student has not learnt. They may have made real progress while still not yet reaching the expected standard.

So, alongside asking "What mark did you get?" we can also ask:

• "What did you learn?"

• "What did you find difficult?"

• "What mistake helped you understand something?"

• "What do you still need to practise?"

The mark provides information. Looking at the learning process helps us understand what that information means.

3. How Do We Really Learn?

Learning is not simply receiving information.

It is an active process in which we need to understand, connect ideas, practise, remember, apply knowledge and correct mistakes.

Depending on what we are learning, this process may involve:

• Paying attention

• Understanding new information

• Connecting it with prior knowledge

• Practising

• Receiving feedback

• Making and correcting mistakes

• Retrieving what we have learnt from memory

• Using it in different situations

Making a mistake does not necessarily mean that learning has failed. A mistake can show us what we do not yet understand and what we need to review or practise.

Learning also involves experiencing periods in which we cannot do something yet.

The word "yet" matters.

It does not guarantee that every difficulty will eventually disappear or that every learner will reach the same outcome. It simply recognises that a current difficulty can be part of an ongoing learning process rather than automatically being its final result.

4. What Does Studying Mean Beyond Doing Homework?

Completing homework and learning are not exactly the same thing.

We can finish an activity without understanding it deeply, and we can also study when there is no homework to complete.

Studying means actively working with what we want to learn.

That might involve practising a procedure, recalling information without looking at the answer, explaining an idea in our own words, solving problems or returning to something we have not yet mastered.

Repetition can be important, but not all repetition produces the same learning.

Practice works best when it allows us to understand, remember, receive feedback about errors and gradually improve.

Consistency also matters. Spreading practice over time can support more durable learning than trying to learn everything right before an assessment.

Put differently, studying is not simply about spending more time looking at information. What matters is what the learner is doing with that information.

5. What Role Do Effort and Discipline Play in Learning?

Effort matters, but effort alone is not enough.

A child can work very hard while using a strategy that is not helping them. In that situation, they may need guidance, feedback or a different way of approaching the task.

So, as well as recognising how hard they are trying, we can help them ask:

• "What strategy am I using?"

• "Is it working?"

• "What could I do differently?"

Discipline and habits also play a real role.

We will not always feel like studying, practising or finishing a task.

Learning to begin, maintain attention, practise regularly and continue when something requires effort can all contribute to learning.

The aim is not to teach children that effort guarantees success.

Progress usually involves a combination of practice, effective strategies, guidance, feedback and persistence.

Sometimes the right response is to keep trying. Sometimes it is to change strategy. And sometimes it is to ask for help.

6. How Can Parents Encourage Learning?

Parents do not need to become teachers of every subject.

Their role can be to create conditions that support both learning and growing independence over time.

For example, they can:

• Show interest in what their child is learning

• Encourage questions and curiosity

• Help establish useful routines

• Recognise progress, practice and effective strategies

• Allow mistakes without immediately treating them as failures

• Help without doing the work for the child

• Teach children to organise their responsibilities

• Encourage them to ask for help when they genuinely need it

We can also change some of the questions we ask.

Instead of asking only "How did you go?" we can also ask:

• "What did you learn today?"

• "What was the most difficult part?"

• "What can you do today that you found difficult before?"

• "What do you still need to practise?"

These questions shift some of the attention from the result towards the learning process.

Over time, they can also help children start asking these questions of themselves.

7. What Do We Really Want for Our Children: Good Marks or Learning?

Probably both.

We want our children to learn, and we also want them to be able to show what they know.

The difficulty arises when achieving a good mark becomes more important than learning.

If the main goal is the mark, we may be tempted to intervene too much, prevent mistakes or look for the quickest route to a better result.

If learning is at the centre, a difficulty can become useful information:

"You don't know how to do this yet. Let's work out what you need to learn."

A good education does not aim only for strong academic results. It can also help develop students who are increasingly able to learn, practise, organise themselves, ask for help, correct mistakes and take greater responsibility for their own learning.

Marks matter.

But ideally, they should tell us something about learning rather than becoming the purpose of learning itself.

From Achieving a Result to Developing the Capacity to Learn

There is a real difference between helping a child achieve a result and helping them build a capability.

We can help them finish an assignment today. Or we can teach them how to organise themselves so that tomorrow they need less help.

We can correct every mistake for them. Or we can help them learn how to spot and correct their own mistakes.

We can constantly remind them to study. Or we can gradually help them learn to organise their own practice.

The immediate result matters.

But we can also ask: "What is this child learning about how to learn?"

That capacity can stay with them long after a particular mark has stopped mattering.

This is one of the important transitions in education:

adult organises → student participates → student practises → student takes increasing responsibility for their own learning

The aim is not for adults to disappear from the learning process. It is for students to become more active participants in it, step by step.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is It Wrong to Want My Child to Get Good Marks?

No.

Marks can be important and provide useful information about academic performance.

The problem arises when they become the only indicator of learning or when achieving a good mark leads adults to intervene in ways that reduce the student's participation and independence.

A good mark and genuine learning are not opposites. Ideally, the mark should reflect what the student is increasingly able to understand and do for themselves.

How Can I Motivate My Child to Learn Rather Than Simply Pass?

Curiosity and interest can help, but not all learning will be naturally motivating.

Children also need study habits, practice and responsibility for those times when learning requires effort.

Talking about what they are learning, rather than only about their marks, can help keep the process at the centre.

We can ask about strategies, difficulties, progress and what still needs practice.

The goal is not to make every subject exciting. It is to help children develop the capacity to continue learning even when motivation is not immediate.

What If My Child Becomes Frustrated With Their Studies?

First, try to understand what is causing the difficulty.

They may need a different explanation, the task broken into smaller steps, more practice, a break or additional support.

Frustration does not always mean that they should abandon the task. But it also does not mean that they simply need to try harder.

A useful question is: "What is making this difficult, and what kind of support or strategy would help the learning move forward?"

Should I Correct Every Mistake Before My Child Submits an Assignment?

Not necessarily.

If we correct everything for the child, the teacher may receive an inaccurate picture of what the student can do on their own.

We can guide, ask questions and help children notice something they might want to reconsider.

But some mistakes also provide useful information about what they still need to learn.

The aim is not to protect children from every error. It is to help them get better at recognising, understanding and correcting their own errors over time.

Conclusion: Marks Inform; Learning Lasts

Marks have a purpose.

They can show how a student performed against particular criteria at a particular point in time.

But education goes much further.

Understanding, practising, making mistakes, correcting them, persisting, organising and gradually learning with greater independence are capabilities that cannot always be captured in a mark.

Rather than choosing between good marks and learning, we can aim for marks to serve learning rather than learning becoming secondary to marks.

The result of an assessment matters for a period of time.

What a child learns, and how they learn to learn, can stay with them much longer.