Parenting and education have changed significantly over recent decades. Technology, social change, new ways of understanding child development and greater access to information and professional support have all influenced how families raise and support their children.
These changes offer new opportunities, but they also raise questions about how we can help children develop independence, self-control, responsibility and the ability to deal with everyday difficulties.
The challenge is not to return to the past. It is to identify which principles remain important and consider how we can apply them in today's circumstances.
1. Technology Has Changed Family Life
Technology is part of everyday life for children and families. Screens and digital devices can provide opportunities to learn, communicate, create and access information, but they can also displace other important experiences when they occupy too much time.
Not all screen experiences are the same. A video call, an educational activity, a video game and passively watching videos can be very different experiences.
Rather than viewing technology as inherently good or bad, it is important to teach children to use it in a balanced way while protecting time for sleep, movement, play, learning and relationships with other people.
Technology also provides a chance to develop an important habit:
learning to stop when it is time to stop.
With time, the aim is not simply for children to stop because an adult tells them to, but to develop increasing self-control over their own use of technology.
2. Boredom and Lack of Motivation: Learning to Do What Needs to Be Done
Children can become bored, lose interest or resist activities they find difficult or unappealing. This is part of growing up and learning.
If a child has few opportunities to wait, make an effort, complete a task or face a difficulty without immediately giving up, they may have fewer chances to practise skills such as persistence, managing frustration and problem-solving.
Motivation is important for getting started, but it will not always be present.
Learning also involves developing the capacity to continue doing what needs to be done even when a task is no longer enjoyable.
Parenting can therefore provide gradual opportunities for children to experience boredom, face manageable difficulties and discover the satisfaction of completing something that required effort.
That is not about making life unnecessarily difficult. It is about recognising that not every valuable experience needs to be immediately entertaining.
3. Labelling Children: Describing or Limiting?
It is easy to begin describing children according to their difficulties:
"He's lazy."
"She's disorganised."
"He has no patience."
"She's no good at maths."
"He can't concentrate."
The problem with these labels is that they can turn a particular difficulty into something that appears to be a permanent characteristic of the child.
Rather than defining children by what they cannot yet do, it can be more useful to ask:
What can they do now? What do they need to learn? What opportunities do they have to practise?
Recognising effort, progress and the strategies a child uses allows us to support learning without reducing the child to their results.
A growth mindset can help us understand that abilities can develop, while also recognising that not every child will develop every ability at the same pace or in the same way.
The purpose is not to tell children that they can achieve anything simply by trying harder. It is to help them see that a difficulty today does not necessarily define what they may be able to learn with the right practice, strategies and support.
4. Greater Access to Specialists, Therapies and Professional Support
Today, there is greater awareness of difficulties that can affect children's learning, behaviour, attention, communication and development.
Families also have greater access to specialists, assessments, therapies and, when appropriate, medical treatment.
These forms of support can be important and, in some circumstances, necessary.
At the same time, professional support does not replace the everyday experiences through which children learn to wait, follow instructions, take small responsibilities, practise a skill, manage frustration and work through problems step by step.
The question is not whether we should choose between professional support and developing habits.
When appropriate, the two can complement each other, while always respecting the individual child's needs and the recommendations of the professionals supporting them.
A child who needs additional support can still benefit from appropriate opportunities to practise everyday skills and develop greater independence.
5. Regaining Practical Confidence in Parenting
Families today have access to far more information about parenting than previous generations did.
This can be a great advantage, but it can also create uncertainty:
Am I doing this correctly?
Should I step in?
Should I let my child try?
Am I expecting too much?
There is no single answer that applies to every family or every child.
Some principles, though, remain useful: establishing clear boundaries, maintaining routines, introducing responsibilities little by little, supporting children through difficulties and allowing them to do what they are ready to begin doing for themselves.
Regaining practical confidence does not mean returning to parenting practices of the past.
It means adults feeling able to fulfil their role as guides and educators, making thoughtful and consistent decisions according to their children's needs.
Sometimes children need us to step in.
Sometimes they need us to teach.
And sometimes they need us to give them enough time and space to try for themselves.
6. Habits Still Matter
Although circumstances have changed, children still need to learn how to organise themselves, wait, concentrate, persist, manage their emotions and take responsibility.
Habits do not appear automatically.
They develop through repeated experiences, guidance and practice and can gradually become more independent ways of acting.
Everyday routines can therefore become opportunities for learning: getting ready for the day, putting materials away, completing an activity, practising a skill, waiting for a turn or attempting to manage a small difficulty before asking for help.
Habits alone do not guarantee academic or personal success. Many factors influence children's development and outcomes.
But habits can contribute to developing capabilities children need to learn and get through everyday life with greater independence.
How the Langford Method Supports Families
The Langford Method integrates habit development with learning skills through structured activities and brief practice sessions.
Through its programs, children have opportunities to practise skills such as words, languages and mental maths while developing six habits along the way:
following instructions, self-control, independence, calmness, willingness to act and practice.
The aim is not to eliminate difficulties or keep children permanently motivated.
It is to support them as they gradually learn to do what they need to do, even when it requires effort.
For families, this provides a practical structure for incorporating small opportunities for learning and habit development into everyday life.
As children develop, adult support can also shift over time: from showing and guiding towards giving children greater responsibility for what they are increasingly capable of doing themselves.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Technology Harmful to Children?
Technology is not necessarily harmful in itself. It is important to consider what children are doing with it, how much time it occupies and which other experiences it may be displacing, including sleep, movement, play, learning and relationships with other people. The aim is not simply to minimise technology, but to help children learn to use it in a balanced and increasingly responsible way.
Why Is It Important for Children to Learn to Tolerate Boredom?
Because not every important activity is entertaining. Learning to wait, continue with a task and find ways to occupy themselves can contribute to the development of independence and persistence. Boredom does not need to be deliberately created, but neither does every quiet moment need to be immediately filled with entertainment.
Do Habits Replace Therapy or Specialist Support?
No. Habit development can complement other forms of support, but it does not replace professional assessment, therapy or treatment when these are needed. The right balance will depend on the individual child and, where relevant, the guidance of the professionals supporting them.
What Role Do Habits Play in Child Development?
Habits provide repeated opportunities to practise ways of acting that children need in everyday life, such as concentrating, following instructions, managing impulses, taking responsibility and persisting. As children develop, these behaviours can gradually require less external prompting and become more independently managed.
How Does the Langford Method Support Families?
The programs combine learning skills with the step-by-step development of six habits: following instructions, self-control, independence, calmness, willingness to act and practice. Through brief, structured activities, children have opportunities to practise both the skill they are learning and the habits involved in learning it.
Conclusion: Recovering What Matters Without Returning to the Past
Parenting has changed significantly and presents new challenges and opportunities. Technology, greater access to information and increased availability of professional support can all enrich the way we support children.
But it is also important not to lose sight of simple experiences that remain valuable: teaching, establishing boundaries, allowing children to try, supporting them through difficulties and giving them chances to practise.
Raising children for independence does not mean leaving them alone to deal with difficulties.
It means supporting them while they gradually develop the capabilities to manage more of those difficulties for themselves.
In a rapidly changing world, perhaps one of our most important responsibilities as adults is to help children develop strong habits, practical skills and the determination to keep moving forward when things are not easy.
Want to learn more about the Langford programs?
Not sure where to start?
The 2-minute quiz suggests one habit to focus on first, with a practical idea to try.
Take the 2-Minute Family Habits Quiz